2012年7月2日 星期一

My Partner Doesn't Know I Have an STD


Okay, you think you have an STD. You have a few symptoms and you've looked online and think your symptoms match those of an STD. Your partner has no idea but you are agonizing over this terrible discovery. What should you do now?

Don't panic. Don't assume the worst. Don't even tell anyone if you feel you can wait until after you have been seen by a physician. However, if you have any suspicion that you may possibly have an STD, make sure to stop engaging in sexual activity immediately. If you can avoid explaining your fears before you have been examined, that may be best. Once you have the facts, you will be in a better position to talk to your partner about it.

First and immediate action is to, get tested and be sure. If you have already had sex with your partner, then it will also be essential for him or her to get tested. If you have had several sexual partners, then no matter how difficult it is for you, in all fairness you will have to share this information with each and every one of them.

Before telling a partner about it, do some research to learn as much as you can about the symptoms, the treatment, how it is transmitted from one person to another, the prognosis, treatments and potential for cure.

Find a time when you feel relaxed, when you are in a positive and optimistic mood, and a time when your partner may be receptive to a serious discussion. Do not bring up the discussion in the middle of a romantic episode. Make sure you are in a private, quiet location.

Practice in advance what you plan to tell your partner. Imagine that the roles are reversed and think about how and what you would like this other person to tell you. If necessary, write down how you want to say it and read it over many times until you are comfortable with the way you are explaining your situation.

When you have finally shared this difficult news with your partner, allow him or her to respond. The response might be very angry, appear to be indifferent or even cold. Just allow the other person to sit with this news for a while without assuming the worst. Encourage your partner to ask questions. Reassure him or her with all the facts you can find about the particular STD. Bring articles or booklets gathered from your own research or directly from your doctor's office.

Your only ethical and fair choice is to be honest with a partner with whom you want to share sexual intimacy. Intimacy requires honesty and openness. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to tell the truth. And then let the chips fall where they may.

Regardless of the outcome, whether your partner stands by you or breaks off the relationship, you could benefit from some counseling for yourself. An STD can lower your self-esteem and leave you feeling less attractive, less desirable, dirty, unworthy, sad or even depressed.




Dr. Erica Goodstone, a Spiritual Relationship Expert, has helped thousands of men, women, couples, and groups to develop greater awareness of the issues in their relationships and their lives, to overcome and alleviate stressors and discords, and to revitalize their relationships and their own mind-body-spirit connection through love. Get your FREE "CAN THERAPY HELP" REPORT at http://www.SexualReawakening.com and your FREE "7 CRITICAL LOVE MISTAKES" Report at http://www.ThroughLove.com





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